the second i saw, but the first was suckerpunch city
i got my ass kicked by a committee of whom i don't know
in front of the gap at the corner of m and wisconsin
the mannequin men in khaki enjoyed the show

now i was out cold, it must have been three or four hours
a few whiskey sours that i had with mr henry helped that
when i came to i was face down in a patrol car
the door was ajar and i heard this whitehat say
"no sir, i never heard a thing" oh yeah

i started to speak, but the air in my mouth felt funny
metallic and runny - weird enough to catch my breath
i went for the mirror and the cop said "you looking for this son?
the other one's gone." and with that he held up my tooth and said
"here's proof you should get out of town."

i got home at dawn and took one really long shower
over an hour - never let bloodstains dry!
i wiped off the mirror and i looked at myself for a while
i started to smile then i just broke down and cried
"why me? why now? i look like gordie howe!" oh yeah

now you can find good in getting teeth knocked out if you do try
the ladies all sigh when you tell 'em how you didn't fight back
the whistling skills have improved and i never did floss much
oh call it a crutch, but i really do feel brand new
and how would you know how i feel?

(oh yeah)

all i want for christmas is my two front teeth
my two front teeth
all i want for christmas is my two front teeth
my two front teeth
all i want for christmas is my two front teeth
my two front teeth

(oh yeah)